


With Friends like These...

by RedFox13



Category: Bloodborne
Genre: Funny, Mischief, Other, djura gets wrecked
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-11 23:07:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20161621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedFox13/pseuds/RedFox13
Summary: Djura takes advantage of Father Gascoigne to prank Henryk. How will the old hunter handle his antics.





	With Friends like These...

Father Gascoigne held a crinkled shopping list close to his face as he browsed the dusty shelves of a local hardware store. Despite the bandages over his eyes he could still read his hastily scribbled writing.  
Reaching over for a can of oil he was caught off guard by a ashen leather gloved hand reaching for the same can. "Pardon me, Father!" Djura said as he pulled his hand back. "You wanted that?" Gascoigne asked as he tucked his list away. "Yes, but you grabbed it first, I'll get another." He replied with a smile.

"Thank ya'." He replied as he picked up the can. "Where's your partner? You two always seem to be together." Djura eyed him with friendly curiosity. "He's enjoying a day of peace and quite at home, relaxing. That's how he spends every year on his..." The priest started before slapping his forehead. "Damn it!!" He grumbled.  
"What's wrong?" Djura asked. "Today's his birthday, and I forgot to get him anything, and to be honest I don't know what to get him." Gascoigne answered. Djura's scratched his chin for a moment. His eyes lit up as an idea struck him. "Why not a gift basket?" Gascoigne looked confused, "Uh...a gift basket?"

"Yeah, sure! You get a basket and put things in it that you know they like." Djura explained. "That might work. Alright I can do that." Gascoigne nodded thoughtfully. A mischievous grin crossed the Powder Keg's face as he said, "Why not have a little fun with it?  
Put some things in it only he would like!! I'll even help you set it up!"  
"I suppose." The priest shrugged.  
"This is going to be good!!" Djura laughed. "Why do I feel like I'm gonna regret this." Gascoigne grumbled to himself as he paid for his items. At Djura's direction they made their way to various stalls and shops in the market area, picking up things along the way. Stopping at the priest's house they arranged everything neatly in a small basket.

"Wait, there's one more thing. I'll be right back." Djura called as they were about to step out again. Sprinting down to Iosefka's clinic, Djura grabbed some flyers and a few pamphlets, he shoved them in his pocket and raced back. Taking a moment to catch his breath, he wiped the sweat off his brow before carefully concealing the papers in the bottom. "What's all that?" Gascoigne asked as he picked up the basket.  
"You'll see!" Djura said with a devious grin. The priest mumbled something under his breath as he scratched his beard. He had a feeling the feisty Powder Keg was using him for mischief. As the morning turned to afternoon they made their way to Henryk's house. 

The old hunter was sitting in his favorite chair near a window. He looked content as he sipped a glass of brandy, the peaceful silence relaxed his weary soul. A look of annoyance flashed across his face as he sensed a presence nearby. Looking out the window he spotted Gascoigne, he smiled faintly as he stood to meet him at the door.

The priest was about to knock when the door opened suddenly. "Good afternoon Gas'." He nodded in greeting. Looking around he saw that Djura was nowhere to be found. Must've run off. Gascoigne thought, he knew the two didn't get along very well. "Happy birthday Henryk. Gotcha this gift basket." He said with a half smile.

"Thank you very much Gas'. That was thoughtful of you." Henryk replied warmly as he accepted the basket. He offered to let Gascoigne in to share a drink together. The priest agreed and followed him inside.

Djura sipped a small dose of blue elixir before slipping away from the priest. Moving swiftly and silently he positioned himself under the open kitchen window to listen in. He didn't want to miss Henryk's reaction. As the two hunters gathered in the kitchen Henryk poured him a drink and he opened his gift. There was one flaw in his plan though, Gascoigne had mentioned quietly that Djura helped him assemble it.

"I suspected somethin' when he acted all too glad to help. When he ran off I was sure he was pullin' one of his jokes. So what do we do?" Gascoigne whispered. "Play along, give him his laugh, then I'll make him regret ever fucking with an old hunter like me!!" Henryk replied quietly.

Fumbling through the basket Henryk spoke loudly as he pulled out each item. "Kielbasa sausage and a bottle of Żołądkowa Gorzka!!! I've looked for these for ages!" Setting them aside he picked up more items, "Plum jelly and oatmeal cookies?!! I love these!!" Henryk smiled, at least Djura got things he actually did like. "Thermal socks and...pain cream?? Well... I have been complaining of cold feet and aching joints on those damp, cold nights, especially when we're hunting." His tone slowly turned to confusion.

Gascoigne stood nearby with a wide grin. He knew Djura was in for it. Meanwhile he was snickering quietly under the window. Henryk took out the next two items and huffed indignantly, "Hair dye and denture paste?!! Really?!! What are you implying?!!" The priest feigned confused ignorance, "I-I don't know? Those weren't supposed to be in there!!"

The old hunter should've been an actor with his display of mock anger. "Pamphlets for the local assisted living community and brochures for hip and knee replacement surgery?!!! What the fucking hell Gascoigne?!! What's next an antique playboy magazine?!!!" He snarled that last statement, even scaring the priest a little.

Djura was beet red and unable to breathe from holding in his laughter. Deciding he heard enough he withdrew and went home. For the sake of appearances the other two hunters pretended to argue before Henryk told him to leave. They would catch up on things during the next hunt.

The priest went home and Henryk grabbed the box of hair dye from the basket. As he made his way to town he ran into Eileen, whom he told of Djura's prank. "I hope you get him good. Harassing you like that will only get him trouble." She said in a disapproving tone. "Care to lend a hand?" He asked. "With pleasure." The crow nodded. After exchanging the hair dye for one of a different color, they came up with a plan.

That evening Eileen and Henryk went to the tavern. Finding a half-hammered Djura already there made things easier for them. Henryk sat in the back near a table of loud church hunters, Eileen sat at the bar next to Djura. They waited for him to have a few more beers, with a nod from Henryk the other poured a sedative into Djura's drink. He began to feel sleepy as he finished his beer.

He had planned to go home but didn't quite make it, passing out by bar's back door. Seeing their chance the two hunters picked the Powder Keg and hauled him to his house. Once inside they set to work, Eileen got a chill at the evil look in Henryk's eyes as he exacted his revenge. Leaving him passed out on the couch they left locking the door behind them.

Two nights later the hunt began again. Gascoigne and Henryk met up as usual and made their rounds. Henryk told him of what he had done, Gascoigne laughed maniacally. As they crossed a bridge they spotted Djura down on the street below, looking furious. His hair, goatee, and even his eyebrows had been dyed a snowy white. "Now who's the old man? Poke fun at my age again you bastard!!" Henryk muttered.

Almost as if he heard him Djura spun around and spotted them on the bridge. He begun to chase after them screaming madly. Their laughter, his swearing, and many rounds of gunfire could be heard all over Yharnam that night.


End file.
